Gone Again
by dnofsunshine
Summary: One night in the digital world, young Takeru asks Hikari what it's like to get to live with her older brother back home. Takari friendship. One-shot; set during Adventure.


**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Digimon. Even after all these years. I might have to take it by force.

 **a/n:** So I need to stop depriving poor Takeru of sleep. Takes place during the second half of Adventure. I don't remember _exactly_ how this arc went, so forgive me if it's a little off. Enjoy this small dose of Takari friendship. No romance here. Sorry (not sorry). Thank you for reading.

* * *

Ropes of wind sifted through the trees, coaxing a restless seven-year-old Takeru to open his eyes. He shifted, his innocent gaze sweeping the dark blue and black striped sky as if there were something elaborate written in the path of the stars.

There probably was. Maybe he just couldn't see it. This place was full of so many unsolved mysteries and puzzles that even Koushiro hadn't figured them all out—and Koushiro was wickedly smart.

"Patamon," he whispered, rolling over to face his partner. "Are you awake?"

"Nnn," was the muffled reply. "What izzit, Takeru?"

"I can't sleep."

His partner opened big blue eyes that were only a few shades lighter than his own. His wings were pressed against his back as he blinked sleepily at Takeru. "Jou says that when you can't sleep, you're supposed to count sheep."

"Do you even know what sheep are?"

There was a pause. Patamon tilted his head to the side. "No. But apparently, they help people sleep."

The young blond laughed; the sound was low and quiet and yet still innocently childish, ricocheting in the back of his throat until it found its way out of his lips. Patamon joined him, although tiredly, but he continued to blink himself awake seemingly for Takeru's sake.

The keeper of Hope sat up slowly and went back to stargazing. It sure was beautiful, he thought. The digital world, in all of its glory, was gorgeous. He still couldn't get his head wrapped around the thought that someone wanted to destroy it. After all, what good would a bunch of power do you if the place which you ruled was in ruins? It wouldn't be fun to show off a kingdom that was damaged. And who would want to be friends with someone who took away everything you called home?

 _Not me,_ the young blond thought, frowning just a little. Then again, as time dragged on, it was getting harder and harder to determine who was a friend and who was a foe. Especially since their encounters with digimon on Earth.

"How many stars do you think are up there, Pata?" Takeru asked out of nowhere.

Patamon was quiet for a while, appearing thoughtful. "More than you can count."

"You sound like Onii-chan."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, his throat tightened. His eyes felt wet and hot, and he swallowed thickly, suddenly trying not to burst into tears. His Onii-chan wasn't here. He didn't want to think about it, but that piece of knowledge clawed its way into the front of his brain with such force that it was hard to ignore.

"Onii-chan," he repeated softly in a low whisper, turning away so Patamon wouldn't see how watery his eyes were. He was such a crybaby. But he couldn't help it—he missed his brother dearly, and as angry as he could be at his Onii-chan for leaving him, he was more worried than anything else. Was he ok? This world was so huge, and they were all just kids. Onii-chan was no exception.

"Where are you?" he asked the sky quietly as if the stars could give him an answer. But the only reply he received was Patamon's curious stare.

"Who?"

"I wonder where Onii-chan is."

Patamon sat quietly awhile, before snuggling closer to the blond. "Wherever he is, I'm sure he's ok. Gabumon is with him."

That was true, Takeru realized. And knowing that should have comforted him. But it didn't erase the pain in his heart that stemmed from his brother's absence. It was a bruise that would never fully heal; a deep cut that no number of stitches could repair. A shadow that constantly loomed over him, and even when he chased that shadow away, it always found its way back.

"He'll be ok, Takeru," Patamon reassured, raising a paw to wipe away stray tears.

Takeru attempted in vain to stop crying, but it was easier said than done. His nose burned unpleasantly and his throat felt constricted. He sniffed and sniffed and sniffed. Pulled his knees to his chest and held Patamon close. Hiccuped a little. Tried his best to be quiet.

"I miss him," he murmured wetly, taking a small breath.

"I'm sure he misses you, too. He'll return—he did before, didn't he?"

"...yeah." Another soft, ragged breath. "Yeah, he did."

Patamon grinned, and it was so cheerful and full of hope that Takeru mimicked the gesture, even if his smile was watery and quivering. He wiped at his face with less delicacy than Patamon had and took a few moments to compose himself.

Onii-chan would come back. He would. He always did. Even if it took a while. He just had to believe a little, right? Right.

"Can I sit here?"

Takeru, startled, immediately started rubbing his face again to make sure that all evidence of crying was gone, but he did this so violently that it probably only made it worse. Even though he hadn't known Hikari for very long, it was easy to recognize her voice.

Patamon, more courageous than Takeru at the moment, glanced upward and met the young brunette's tired but curious and worried gaze. "Hi, Hikari. Go ahead."

Smiling softly, Hikari lowered herself to the ground right next to Takeru, and when he didn't face her, she tilted her head to the side. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Takeru replied quickly. "I'm ok now. I just can't sleep."

"Neither can I," Hikari admitted quietly. Timidly. "I guess I just don't feel well."

Swallowing somewhat nervously, Takeru risked a glance at her. The moonlight shed its silvery glow onto her figure in a sort of celestial way, bringing out the way her eyes shone and the gentleness of her smile. And how pale her skin was. Was that natural? Feeling it would be rude to ask, he went with: "Does your tummy hurt?"

"A little," she said, but her kind expression did not falter. "Not too bad, though. I probably ate too much tonight."

He nodded slowly, trying to smile as well. Smiling was good. It always made him feel a little better, on the inside and the outside. "I think I did, too."

"Is that why you're crying?" she asked after a pause, curious. Echoed: "Does _your_ tummy hurt?"

Takeru shared a glance with Patamon, and before he could answer, Tailmon whispered from behind them, "What are you doing up?"

All three of them jumped. The kitten digimon came into view a few seconds after she asked this question, and Takeru stilled, appearing sheepish. Hikari simply smiled again and explained softly: "We couldn't sleep."

"Count some sheep," Tailmon suggested immediately as she perched herself in Hikari's lap. Her response made Patamon laugh softly.

"That's what I said." A small pause. "So, um. What are sheep, Tailmon?"

Cue a moment of hesitance and a frown. Then came a shrug—or at least what was meant to be a shrug. "Beats me. That's just what Jou says."

Hikari and Takeru looked at each other in amusement before bursting into quiet laughter. Hikari even had to cover her lips to stifle it, which only made Takeru want to laugh harder.

"What?" the two digimon asked in unison, appearing innocently confused.

Hikari shook her head silently, and Takeru released a soft, delighted sigh. That was the closest thing they received as a response before the four of them lapsed into a comfortable silence.

Takeru once again allowed his gaze to wander to the stars glittering above them as Patamon climbed his way up the blond's shoulder, and then onto his head. Having taken his hat off for the night, Takeru found his partner's weight a little odd, but he didn't mind.

Soon, they drifted into a soft conversation. Traded a few jokes here and there, with Patamon and Tailmon adding in their opinions every other sentence. It was soft. Casual. Easy. It was fun to talk to Hikari, Takeru realized. Probably because she was closest to his age, and they had a little bit in common. It was... nice.

Then, out of nowhere: "Hikari."

"Hmm?"

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"You get to go home with Taichi."

Hikari paused as if not understanding his statement. Her face contorted with confusion, and she asked, "What do you mean?"

"When we go back home. You get to go with Taichi, right? You get to spend the rest of summer with him. He's gonna be there with you when school starts, isn't he? And you live in the same house..."

The child of Light nodded and looked thoughtful for several moments. "Why? Aren't you going back with Yamato?"

"I'll go back with him," Takeru confirmed. "But he has to go back to Daddy's soon after that. I'm gonna go back with Mama. We don't live together anymore."

"Oh."

Quiet. Short. That was how she said it, and Takeru risked a glance at her to catch a glimpse of her expression, seeing that it had gone neutral. Takeru felt the same ache from earlier return to his chest. Like a hand was wrapped around his heart and squeezed it just to see how badly it would hurt him.

 _I want my Onii-chan._

"Do you get to play together a lot?" he continued softly, although he wasn't sure why. His seven-year-old mind was desperate to know what it felt like to be in a family like hers, and maybe that was a little selfish, but what was so bad about being curious?

"Yeah, we do," she answered. "Sometimes I get sick, and Mommy doesn't let me outside the house when that happens. But when I'm not sick, Taichi will take me to play soccer with him and his friends. He'll even let me win sometimes." She smiled here as if lost in a memory. "If I don't want to go outside, he'll play with my toys with me. Even if he doesn't want to."

 _I want to play with my Onii-chan._

A small laugh escaped her lips. "One time, he accidentally broke one of my dolls, but he didn't want me to see, so he got a band-aid from Mommy and used it as tape to put the head back on. He said its neck was broken from falling down, and that it needed some space to recover. When I found out what really happened and that it couldn't be fixed, he used his allowance to buy me a new one."

 _Doesn't he want to play with me?_

"And... and your Mama and Daddy—they don't fight?"

"Not in a while. They say love each other very much."

 _Do my Mama and Daddy still love each other? Mama says she still loves him, but... then why don't they show it?_

 _Does... Onii-chan still loves me, right?_

Hikari glanced back at him happily, still lost in thought, but her expression twisted when she saw that he was not smiling. Her lips tilted downward. "I'm sorry."

Takeru blinked. "For what?"

"It must hurt a lot. Not being with your brother."

"It doesn't—" Takeru stopped, realizing that he could not deny the pain he felt deep inside. A part of him was envious of Hikari because she got to live with her brother, and her Mama and Daddy got along the way they should. But thinking about that made him feel immensely guilty. Onii-chan always told him not to spend his time wanting what others had; that it only made him miserable.

But he wasn't here now, and once again it was hard to ignore these thoughts. It did hurt, and he wanted the family that Hikari had. He wanted so many things, and knowing that he couldn't have them hurt more than he could bear. And... and Onii-chan kept _leaving..._ just like before, just like when he left with Daddy, and back at the amusement park, and... and now. He knew that none of that had been by choice, but it was still painful.

"Yeah," he murmured finally, looking at his lap. His voice trembled. "Yeah, it does."

Hikari was silent again. Takeru heard Patamon snoring lightly from atop his head, and out of the corner of his eye, he realized that Tailmon was also falling asleep, curled in the brunette's lap like an actual cat.

"Takeru, hey."

"What?"

"He'll come back," Hikari assured him suddenly, unknowingly echoing Patamon's words from earlier. She squeezed his hand and smiled softly. "You know that, don't you?"

Takeru nodded soundlessly. "I know."

"Maybe..." Hikari started, a tad bit uncertain. "Maybe, when we go back home, you can spend more time with him. And your parents, too."

"Yeah?"

She nodded again. "I'm sure that's what he wants, too."

Takeru looked up at the stars for the fourth time that night, smiling tentatively. Slowly, it grew in size. Wider. Wider. Soon he was grinning, and he wondered if Yamato was looking at the stars, too. He hoped so. He really, really hoped so.

"Hey, guess what?" he asked, turning to the brunette.

"What?"

"Look at those stars," he told her, pointing to the inky dark sky.

"What about them?"

"They kind of look like wings," he said and did his best to trace the pattern with his finger. "Like angel wings."

"They do, don't they?" she whispered, studying them awhile. Then she gasped and pointed to the right. "Look at that one, Takeru! It looks like a squirrel."

The blond squinted, eyes following what he thought Hikari was looking at. He frowned just a little. "It... it looks more like an octopus," he said honestly, which made Hikari's face fall.

"It does not." Then she tilted her head, scrunching up her nose. "Ok, maybe a little."

"Or... a Monzaemon."

"A Monzaemon?" Hikari raised small eyebrows as though searching her memory for a picture of what the digimon looked like. When she still looked a little confused, Takeru launched into a description of Monzaemon's appearance.

Soon, curiosity overcame Hikari, and she asked him to tell her more. Taichi told her some things, but not everything. Takeru grinned even more, and excitedly went into detail about how he, Onii-chan, and the rest of them saved countless digimon from black gears and evil digimon. He omitted some parts (Devimon was a touchy subject and there were multiples times when they were all separated) but he answered her questions the best he could.

As they continued to talk through the night, they weren't in the digital world. They weren't children destined to save this world. They were just normal kids, sitting under the silver and blue veil of a starry sky, trading stories and memories.


End file.
